The Reality of “Rightsizing”

There are times when “Downsizing or Rightsizing” becomes a must and not an option. Sadly, the topic is often controversial with the person needing to “Rightsize”. The process means a lack of independence, and many will fight any suggestion to move to a more accommodating living space.

We live in a City where there are very few spaces, other than apartments, that can allow one to live on one floor. Bungalows only exist in certain areas and those are still mostly accessible by climbing stairs. Staying in your home also means having to maintain gardens, snow removal, and routine maintenance.

Click here to read our comprehensive guide to Rightsizing

My guiding rule when I counsel clients needing to move is “Is this the safest place for you to live?”

In Ontario we have community care access workers who can help you and your family make these decisions. They are trained professionals who can help you function in your own home for as long as possible and provide the guidance needed when it is time to leave. Sadly…most of us have a tendency to fight and rage against change and family becomes the target for that rage.

Until she passed a few years ago, my brother and I became the target of my Mom’s frustration as her independence diminished. We took different tactics: My brother was the realist and would point-blank tell my mom that she was in no physical shape to fly from Toronto to Edmonton for a Family event. That approach set my mom off in a rage…she was not interested in dealing with a point-blank “NO”.

My approach, wanting to avoid the argument, was to say that “YES”, I would take her from Toronto to Edmonton. Yes, we would have to drive out to the Airport. Yes, we would have to wait in a waiting room for at least an hour at the Airport. Yes, we would have to sit on the Airplane for almost four and a half hours. Yes, we would…At this point my mom would look at me, laugh and say…”I know that I can’t go…I just like to talk about it”. That would be the end of the discussion.

Restricting independence is a huge issue for everyone. However, staying in a home that is unsafe is worse.
Rather than telling someone, they can no longer live in their own home you might try to asking how they would manage if something unforeseen happened. Go through the scenario as I did and if they still are firm, then you must do everything you can to make the home safe.

Sometimes though you must make a unilateral decision in the interest of safety…if so, best of luck. That can be one of the most lonely and painful decisions you will ever make.

For more information:

Real Estate: Downsizing with Style and Grace: Part Two

Real Estate: Downsizing with Style and Grace: Part One

Thanks for the great response and ideas from the first post on Downsizing…before I add some more thoughts, let’s talk about some of the issues generated after Post One:

There seems to be a universal response to the negative naming of the difficult process: Downsizing. However, I remembered with some friendly prodding that Barry Lebow, Founder of  The Accredited Senior Agent Designation refers to it as “Rightsizing”, a term defined as “to undergo a reduction to an optimal size”. I like referring to it as it turns a negative into a positive, so that works for me….Barry’s website has some great resources for seniors who are rightsizing but remember that people rightsize for all sorts of reasons.

Click here to read our comprehensive guide to Rightsizing

Here are some of my further thoughts for today’s post:  I am a great fan of writing up the plusses and minuses of any major decision. Sit down with your partner and family and decide what rightsizing will mean to you and your lifestyle. With older readers, those with health issues or caregivers, much of the discussion should be based on safety issues. The ruling decision should be based on “Is this the safest place for me to live?”.

When it comes to what should stay and what should go, call a professional…and listen to them. The Real Estate business is full of third parties we use called “Stagers” . They pride themselves on showing our sellers how to make their homes look spacious, when they may not be and have a very good unbiased eye. Owners, Family and friends may have vested interest in pieces or history around them and may be tied to “Stuff”.

I also hear people say that they are “saving these possessions for their children”. As I child I heard that excuse used many times…strange that I was never asked whether I wanted those possessions or not. As my mom aged and passed those possessions on to me and my brother they occupied a large armour in my living room and his basement….they seldom got used, and when asked where they were, it became easier to say that they were in the dishwasher….course that never worked with chairs, a sofa or the dining table. The dishes were not dishwasher-proof so I got a further talking to…with a gracious helping of guilt.

Ask your children what they want and give it to them now…without an editorial or history…especially if they tell you they cannot use it. Remember that you went through the process at their age, but also remember that this generation is known for not being as loyal as we were and seldom care how long you have had it around. With the recent generation, we make a mistake branding ourselves with our History rather than our Services or recent successes. How long something has been around is not as important to them as its utility today.

Today’s tips:

• Hire a professional Stager and play “does it stay or does it go?” at home.
• Have new floor plans done and use your Stager to stage your existing place for sale making recommendations on the new space at the same time.
• Get sticky notes to place on what is to go… let your family or friends walk through the “to-go” group while you go for a short walk…if they want something in the “to go” group, it must go today. If it does not disappear, move it out as soon as you can but …don’t move it into a storage locker. Storage Lockers are often a cop-out!

At all times keep in mind where you are moving to and what the pluses of that new space are going to be. Get excited and get packing! Speaking of packing…at all times hide all packing boxes. There is little as depressing as half-empty or half-filled moving boxes. Always make your home a Moving Box FREE Zone!

Feel free to add your comments and suggestions below or read the earlier post at:

Real Estate: Downsizing with Style and Grace: Post One

Real Estate: Downsizing with Style and Grace: Part Three